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Kerry’s story

Life before I became a Christian was actually quite empty and so different then it has become now that I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I come from a broken family of drug abusers, alcoholics and teenage pregnancies, but it's not all bad. In fact, I know I am blessed with the family I have because it could be 100 times worse. My parents love me, and my siblings very much and I've always known that, however sometimes things just got, and continue to get tough; the difference between then and now is the way I deal with these struggles. Jesus has given me hope and a caring heart so I do sometimes cry for my family, but I now know that sometimes all you can do is pray, and prayer is the most powerful and effective way of helping someone.

I remember my parents always fighting and, one time in particular at around 3:00am they were fighting pretty badly and I had to get up for school 4 hours later so this wasn't good at all. My dad ended up leaving the house for the night which really upset me so as I was lying in my bed trying to fall back asleep I cried and cried. I couldn't get any sleep so, I prayed: it was something I had seen done many times in my life and figured I would give it a try. Now I understand that prayer is one of many ways to worship God or just to communicate with Him like in any relationship. No more then 5 minutes after praying I felt this comfort like I'd never felt before and God honestly rocked me to sleep that night. This was an incredible feeling.

Before becoming a Christian I was following my non-Christians friends who taught me lying was the easy way out and showed me that sometimes cheating was okay as well as that we have the right to judge someone else and then put them down. This never sat right with me as I felt quite guilty for doing these things but my friends were doing it and I was following their examples and figured it was alright. They were my leaders.

The day I became a Christian I discovered a new leader, Jesus Christ, who I've come to receive as not only a leader but a best friend as well. I have made my fair share of mistakes, some which I am ashamed to admit, but knowing I can talk to God about them and He will forgive me and welcome me with open arms into His kingdom in heaven, is an amazing blessing that none of us deserve.

Jesus' death allowed this blessing for me and all of us. He died so that we can live eternally without sin, not because we are perfect but because He is, and He took our place. The rest is up to you. I decided to make this a truth in my life.

Here is the full story in a little bit more detail.

It was a day that I will never forget, the day that I finally realized the true extent of what it meant to be a Christian. It was no longer just a label for me but a truth. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that before this day I didn't believe in God. On the contrary I did, the problem was knowing Him. My faith before this was somewhat empty or not completely full. As much as I went to church and knew of God and the awesome things He did in my life previous to that day I never completely understood the feeling of fulfillment.

It was Y.C.(Youth Conference) 2005 Consumed, Saturday May 28 when things started to piece together and become a whole so quickly. That day was similar to the day before in that we all went to the main session and then throughout the day to a bunch of other smaller sessions or concerts. Saturday was simply longer. At the closing session Mike Pilavachi was speaking. He was talking about the trinity and about how we need God and about how God will only use us if we humble ourselves. He also spoke about being thankful even in the midst of sorrow because there is always something we have to be thankful for. It was amazing! At the end he asked everyone who wanted to accept Jesus or be spiritually renewed to stand, eyes closed, hands lifted. I am sure that, although I hadn't looked around I must have been one of the first on my feet. Mike started to say a prayer and just give us a chance to listen to what God was saying to us. That was when I felt a sensation that was overwhelming. It was like an intense feeling of forgiveness and renewal that was new to me. I didn't know who was beside me at the time because I was so captivated by the Holy Spirit. It was, at one point, so overwhelming that I actually cried! Not sad tears though, but tears of happiness that allowed me to release anything holding me back from God. After the prayer Mr. Pilavachi talked with those of us standing. I was really happy but I still hadn't really known exactly what happened. We left that night, and the next day at the LRT station someone from my church congratulated me on becoming a Christian. I just nodded and thanked her because I was a little bit confused. But then I finally realized why I had felt so overwhelmed that it brought me to tears; it was the day that I became a true Christian mentally and spiritually. I honestly didn't know that I wasn't a Christian before this or at least I was too proud to admit it. I had to humble myself completely to actually understand because I always thought that I was a Christian since I was a young child. I acted like a Christian would act for the most part and as I grew up and matured my "Christian" lifestyle seemed to mature as well. But I was still missing one thing: the Heart of it all. I believed in God and in Jesus and what they did for me, however the Holy Spirit wasn't very real in my life until the day I was "consumed".

Before I began attending the Baptist Church I would go on Saturdays to my grandma’s house where my sister, my brother, my cousin, and I would spend the night. Then Sunday mornings she would take us to a Lutheran Church. The people there were very friendly but I found, as a little girl, that having to sit through the Pastor’s sermon, no matter how interesting, was boring. I loved going to Sunday school but I had to wait until over half the service was finished before being dismissed. In that amount of time we would sing from the hymnals which I never really understood until recently! So the music was basically a piano playing some sort of pretty tune and a very off-key congregation singing along. It was not the world's greatest experience but even so I never got tired of going, not once. It was a church where I knew people both kids and adults and something about the atmosphere in there made me happy. I didn't really relate to anyone because my parents didn't come to church with me and all the other kids' parents did but it was still something I both cherished and enjoyed.
Then when I was in grade seven Crystal, a good friend of mine who I am so grateful to, invited me to come with her to something she called "WOW" on a Wednesday night. I remember that day so well. I asked my dad if I could go and he said ok but only for a half an hour. I was quite nervous and had no idea what to expect. So Crystal and I walked over at 6:30. We went into a room in the basement of a Baptist Church and we were late. I felt very nervous at this point but couldn't believe I was in a church! The room was awesome. There were lava lamps and glow in the dark things everywhere. There were also people singing and I don't remember if there was instruments or not but I remember Jenny (who I didn't know at the time but I have since gotten to know and found out what an amazing friend she is) who turned around and welcomed me. It was a simple "Hey I'm Jenny, welcome to youth! What's your name?" She sounded so excited although she was whispering so as not to disturb the others singing around her. The youth Pastors also seemed to be so young and totally fun. There were two of them at this point: Mike and Alan. After that night I slowly started to attend the youth group on Wednesdays with Crystal and eventually felt so comfortable that I could go by myself! Kirsten was my small group leader at the time and she taught me a lot and I was able to talk with her about anything and everything which helped me to feel like I could honestly connect with the people at church. About a year later my sister also started to come with me. She, too, naturally loved it. You would think the church kind of grew on us!

My dad, mom, older sister and younger brother still didn't go to church and Sundays, at this point, were still spent at my grandma’s church only now we had to sit through the entire service, which, as I got a little older started to get more interesting and not so boring. Although after going to WOW and seeing the way they worshiped through music there I have to say that I prefer that worship over simple hymnals and a congregational choir. But worship is worship which I have come to realize along with the fact that this music isn't meant for my enjoyment one way or the other, but for God's. So Sundays at the Lutheran Church I joined in singing with the off-key congregation and fit right in!

After my parents divorce we didn't get to my grandmas as often on Sundays but instead started to go to the Baptist Church for the 10:00 Sunday morning service. Our first day going there with all the adults I found to be a little bit scary until I walked in and Pastor Greg greeted me and my sister and welcomed us. He introduced himself and once again, I was shocked. This Pastor wasn't in a robe and he wasn't talking to us really formally but instead he was laughing and joking around and making us feel super comfortable! That morning was filled with surprises as the music was so upbeat and there were people on the platform up front playing instruments and singing. The sermon, like the music, was also loud and upbeat and something that I was not used to at all!

Previous to the weekend I spent at Y.C. my life was always a little tougher with something to always keep us on our toes as I mentioned earlier. Life was definitely interesting but thinking back on it, my life has taught me a lot and therefore I would have it no other way. In the midst of the roller coaster ride that is my life, I could talk to God and he did, and does continue to, comfort me. I could sense God's love whenever I prayed just as anyone else who prays an honest prayer with faith and trust does. But it was this thing, which Pastor Greg once mentioned during a sermon, called spiritual breathing that I was missing out on. I didn't know this at the time but I, for the first time, breathed in the Holy Spirit, and breathed out everything that was stopping me from completely coming to know God that night at Y.C.

Then on November 9, 2005 our youth Pastor was talking about how ones response to God's greatness is through worship and worship is best reflected in how one lives life: through actions and words and thoughts. When Pastor Ben asked the rhetorical question "What is the center of your life?" I had to seriously think on that question. It reminds me of a bible verse which I totally love from: Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be." When I reflected on my treasure I saw that I didn't really know what it was. That made me realize something was wrong because I should be living my life with God as my first priority. So I started to question whether or not I was doing this. It seemed as though I was too busy to have God as my first priority. It wasn't my fault that I was going to school and working two jobs and doing volunteer work and attempting to have a social life too. I was going to church on Sundays and helping out sometimes on Saturday nights, so wasn't that enough? But this concept bothered me because what is all of that without God especially church? Nothing…that was the only answer I could come up with. So Lana (a young youth leader who I have admired since I first started attending the Church) and I were meeting every so often and she really encouraged me while giving me a chance to talk to someone which is something that I appreciated having and enjoyed. After a while Marleen (a woman who is filled to the brim with knowledge and love for everyone she comes in contact with) offered to do a bible study with me once every two weeks. Doing these things has really given me a chance to grow in wisdom and truth of who God is. After Marleen stopped attending the Baptist Church, Emily and I started to meet just about every Sunday after church for a bible study and we are continuing to do so. She is an awesome woman with tons of knowledge. She is very good at answering any questions that I have about something I am reading in the bible or anything else.

I feel so blessed for all of the people I have come to know and have yet to know within my church family not just the few I have mentioned above. A while ago I got an email that compared life to a train. Those getting onto the train are the ones who will in some way affect you, whether a lot or just a little. I know that all of the people at the Church have had some life long effect on me. They are all amazing people and have helped teach me what good Christian love is all about. I am a better person because of the comfort and welcoming atmosphere one experiences when coming into this church and I know that I can now share this same love with others around me.

For these reasons I feel that baptism is the next step I have to take. I know that my testimony is far from finished but for now.

I want to leave the reader with a verse that is an encouragement to me:

"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
Psalm 23

Completed: Sunday February 19, 2006
Signed: Kerry

PS: I hope that my story, or testimony, has in one way or another taught you something. God is so good and He wants to have a loving relationship with each and every one of us. This does not mean you have to be perfect or that you can't have fun anymore, which many of my non-Christian friends seem to think. It simply means you are giving purpose to your life on earth and having your spot in heaven marked in stone. You see God has a plan for us all and He wants us to fulfill this plan and purpose on earth to help others reach eternity.
God Bless

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